So you're planning your wedding.
Where to start... It's all so new!
You're at the stage where you have asked (insert name here!) to be your best man. He is honoured
Then you realise...
He's never been a best man before.
Does he really know what he's doing?
How can he be trusted?
Remember why you asked him in the first place
And heck, it might even be "her"! A client I know had a female usher.
When you start to doubt if they are the person for the job, call to mind why you asked them.
Are they loyal?
Are they fun?
Do you trust them?
Have you known them very long?
Does your wife-to-be approve of your choice?
Will they give you peace on your wedding day?
Perhaps if you can't say yes to many of those questions, it could be worth rethinking. After all, it is your wedding day.
If you are sure enough that they are up to the job, here are 10 tips I would give to every single best man:
10 Top Tips for Your Best Man!
#1 Throw an incredible stag do
When I say incredible I don't mean so incredible you lose your shoes.
I mean incredible as in, incredible for the groom.
If the groom is a local boy that doesn't want to quarantine anymore, don't bother spending hundreds of pounds taking him abroad!
Keep it local, he will remember it better.
#2 Ask the groom what he wants
It's really not funny when the groom doesn't feel listened to. Before the silliness is planned, ask him what he wants and what he definitely doesn't want. They might bring up things for the stag do or mention something to do with the speeches.
It's then your job to listen, understand, and put them at ease.
#3 Communicate clearly with the rest of the ushers
If you've created a WhatsApp group and ask people what they think the groom will want to do, don't be surprised when you're bombarded with gifs, memes and stupid suggestions. Make the group and lay down some ground rules. Tell them what they are doing, when they are expected to show up, and how much £££ they have to contribute (if that's how your groom wants you to do things, see #2). You want to make things as straightforward as possible, laying out the basic expectations.
#4 Find out who the photographer is
Showing up on the wedding day without knowing who the photographer is can be common.
But if you are like me, Tom Keenan Photography, you will already know every name of the bridal party. It's helpful for me to understand how many ushers I can be expecting and a phone number for the best man. If something happens that is not on the plan, they can contact you and don't have to disturb the groom. Equally, if the groom is running behind or any other communication is needed, you at least know the Instagram handle of the photographer (@tomkeenanphotography)
#5 Get the plan from the photographer
I create an organised but relaxed planning structure for every single client I have.
I then double and triple-check it with the wedding couple, making sure the timings are the same for each supplier that needs to time manage (wedding planner, wedding venue, videographer). It's common for me to turn up on a wedding day and the timing structure hasn't been passed on to everybody who needs one, but thankfully I always "airdrop" a copy to everybody.
So for you, Mr best man, find me - I will give you the planning structure if you haven't already got it. It will show you the plan from beginning to the end of the day, and you won't be caught saying, "I don't know... I'll ask the groom" when someone asks you what's next!
#6 Don't get "super" drunk
You might love a drink, but for this wedding, more than one or two is not for you (at least before the speeches!). So be alert and of sound mind for your friends and family. They'll thank you for it in the morning.
#7 Just write your speech in advance
You may feel like a hero planning to say your speech off the cuff, but in my eyes, proper planning prevents poor performance.
#8 Make the day as enjoyable as possible for the bride and groom!
It's all about them! Get them a drink. Reassure them with the plan. Ask them how they are. Rejoice with those who rejoice; it's as simple as that.
Follow these 8 top tips, and you'll be a smashing best man!
Cambridge based wedding photographer
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